Contents
INT. INT. GOOGLEBAR — DAY
A SINGLE BARTENDER IS CLEANING GLASSES BEHIND THE BAR COUNTER. A WEBSITE ENTER THE PREMISE.
HTTP
Hello Google!
BARTENDER
Hello sir, how can i help you today ?
HTTP
Gimme the usual, it has been an hard day
BARTENDER
The “ranking” with 200 ingredients, sir ?
HTTP
yes please!
IN THE MEAN TIME ANOTHER WEBSITE ENTER THE BAR. HE HAS A CONDOM WRAPPED AROUND ITSELF, BUT HE CAN MOVE JUST FINE.
BARTENDER
Good morning Sir and welcome to our premise, how can i help you ?
HTTPS
I’ve read raving reviews about your famous cocktail the “Ranking”. I would like to try it, please.
BARTENDER
With 201 ingredients, right sir?
HTTPS
Yeah, surprise me!
THE OTHER WEBSITE SEEMS SURPRISED OF HEARING THAT THERE IS ONE ADDITIONAL INGREDIENT.
HTTP
Excuse me, but since when the “Ranking” has 201 ingredients instead of the standard 200 ?
BARTENDER
The Administration decided that we had to award a “special ingredient” for those who shows regards for safety of other people.
HTTP
This is madness, the guy is wrapping a condom around itself! How is that contributing to the public safety? He could still crash a truck full of gasoline inside a kindergarten for what we know!
BARTENDER
I’m sorry sir, it has been decided from the top brass.
HTTP
Look, i may wear a condom in my genital area, is that enough to get the 201th ingredient ? Would you check it ?
BARTENDER
Please no sir, i’m forbidden from exploring my patrons intimate parts and the administration stated that only the people who wear protection in their entirety are allowed the additional ingredient.
SUDDENDLY A NINJA MATERIALIZES AND STAB THE HTTPS WEBSITE WITH A SHORT BLADED SWORD. FTER A FEW SECONDS
BARTENDER
What the hell! What happened! Are you ok ?
HTTPS
Just a flesh wound !
BARTENDER
Why he is not reacting ? I think he is bleeding pagerank! What was that black man ?
HTTP
That, my friend, was an hacker.
BARTENDER
I thought mr HTTPS was safe! The condom malfunctioned! I’m confused!
HTTP
Maybe it was not intended to protect you from ninja sneak attacks… pour me another one.
Fade to black
ENDING CREDITS
Artwork by: Claire Mason (used with permission)